Do you hold back giving approval or encouraging words?

Sharing my mistakes with people can be difficult and embarrassing at times;  however, I've learned that when God calls me to share and I walk in obedience, His grace and mercy wash over me.  My prayer is that as I share certain things that I've learned on my walk with Christ that others will be drawn closer to Him and that they will realize just how alive and active He is in our lives.  God gets ALL the GLORY and credit.

At the beginning of 2012, God started convicting me that I was holding back compliments and encouraging words to people who I thought did not "deserve" them.  I was not even aware that this was a problem.  For the most part, I don't have a problem telling someone that he/she looks nice or highlighting a person's accomplishments.  BUT, God started showing me that I hold back in giving encouraging words if I "think" someone might not "deserve" it.

Hmmm - Well how do I determine who deserves a compliment and who does not?  That was the question I started asking myself and God. I started taking note of the times I shied away from giving a compliment vs. the times I wanted to encourage freely.  I would hold back on the people who seemed more critical, demanding, distant, or people who I "feared" would hurt me.  I was zipped up tight when it came to dishing out a word of encouragement to these types of people.  Isn't that horrible???  I was playing God and judging people.  God started showing me that a lot of my perceptions about people were wrong or miscued.

As God sweetly started revealing the funk in my heart, I was disgusted with what I saw and learned about myself.  I asked Him to help me change my way of thinking and to help me see everyone around me the way "HE" sees them.  This took time.  I started becoming more aware of my own thoughts, and when they surfaced, I would pray for His help.  Slowly over time, I started encouraging those people who I "thought" didn't deserve compliments.  As I died to my own thoughts and began to walk in obedience, God's peace started rising up inside of me in this area of my life.

Throughout this period, I was reading scripture on how thoughts and words effect who we are, BUT it wasn't until God took me to Proverbs 27:5 that I truly "got it."  Proverbs 27:5 (MSG): " A spoken reprimand is better than approval that's never expressed." Wow!!!  I read and reread this scripture a hundred times.  God says that the pain we feel from a verbal lashing is BETTER than the pain of not hearing a compliment, encouragement, or approval from someone.  After reading this scripture, my immediate thought was "but we don't know when approval is NOT expressed."  God corrected me and said "yes" there are times when you and I know that approval is being denied.  My heart sank as I thought of how I had denied a kind word/approval based on my own stupidity.

I'm sharing this because God is asking me to write about it.  I'm not sure who will read this that needs it, but if you are playing God and judging people based on your own thoughts, stop!!  Start  praying for God to help you see others like He sees them.  Let words of encouragement flow out of your mouth and let God's peace feel your hardened heart.

Do I have this down pat?  Of course not!  But, I am more aware of what God wants me to say and do vs. my selfish thoughts.